What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
