I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
