i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize