I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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