all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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