Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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