We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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