8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
