I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
