You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
