i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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