11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
