girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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