Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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