brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
