We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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