My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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