You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
