oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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