we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize