Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Boobs speak an international language.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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