I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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