VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
