i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I CAN MOONWALK!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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