You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
