pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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