somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize