isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
