Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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