loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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