Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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