In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize