Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
