There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
