Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize