My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
