He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
