I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
