Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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