you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
