Do you still have your period?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Panties = found
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
