I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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