I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
