They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
