hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
