Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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