What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize