So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
