i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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