I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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