Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
