Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
