marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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