so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
