I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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