Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
