My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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