your parents love me but you hate me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
3pm strippers are depressing
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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