my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
