I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
