I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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