I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
