i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
