think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
